The fluorescent hum in Michael’s office was a low thrum against my temples. My hand, still gripping the lukewarm coffee cup, twitched imperceptibly. ‘I want you to really own this,’ he’d just said, leaning back in his ergonomic chair, a thin, almost invisible smile playing on his lips. I nodded, a reflex forged over 7 years in these corporate canyons, even as a small, cold knot began to tighten in my stomach. The ‘this’ he referred to was Project Chimera, a seemingly simple initiative to streamline our client onboarding. Simple on paper, anyway. My follow-up, a question about securing dedicated developer time-just 7 hours a week, honestly-and the authority to greenlight a specific software license, was met with a practiced, ‘Let’s circle back on that.’

The Art of Temporal Deferral

What is it about that phrase? ‘Let’s circle back.’ It’s not a refusal, not directly. It’s a temporal deferral that feels less like a promise of future resolution and more like a polite, drawn-out goodbye to your request. And ‘own it’? In theory, it sounds like an invitation to leadership, to autonomy. But too often, in our modern corporate lexicon, it’s a cunning linguistic trick. It means, ‘I’m going to hold you accountable for the outcome, but I’m withholding the resources, the budget, and the decision-making power you need to actually achieve it.’ It’s the corporate equivalent of handing someone an axe and telling them to fell a forest, then scoffing when they ask for a chainsaw, or perhaps just a clear path to the forest.

A Master Watchmaker’s Tale

I’ve watched this play out countless times, not just in my own experience but in the weary eyes of colleagues. Marie B.K., for instance, a watch movement assembler with an almost mystical touch, a master of tiny gears and impossibly small springs. She’d spent 27 years perfecting her craft. Her department was tasked with a ‘bold new vision’ for a faster, more cost-effective assembly process. Marie, with her expertise, was chosen to ‘own’ this initiative. She proposed a redesign that required a specialized micro-lathe and a specific bonding agent, totaling about $777, and crucially, a mandate to retrain her team of 7 people on the new method for 7 full days.

Systemic Gaslighting

This isn’t about blaming individual managers entirely. Sometimes, they too are caught in a similar trap, victims of a system that pushes accountability down without truly distributing power. It’s a systemic issue, a form of corporate gaslighting where employees are made to feel inadequate for not achieving the impossible. The expectation is that you will find a way, resourceful and uncomplaining, because if you don’t, it reflects on your ‘ownership,’ your initiative, your very capacity. It creates a culture where asking for necessary support is seen as a weakness, an inability to ‘manage up’ or ‘be agile.’ And so, we burn out, internalizing the systemic failures as personal shortcomings.

The Invisible Empowerment

It reminds me of explaining the internet to my grandmother, bless her 97-year-old soul. She understood the concept of sending letters, physical letters, across distances. But the idea of information traveling invisibly, instantly, without a physical carrier she could hold? That was a leap. Corporate empowerment often feels like that – an invisible, intangible ‘thing’ we’re told we have, but when we try to grasp it, there’s nothing there. We’re left wondering if we just don’t understand the rules of this new game, when perhaps the game itself is rigged.

The Naive ‘Empowerment’ Trap

I’ve been there myself, absolutely. I once took on a project, believing truly, deeply, that I needed to ‘own’ it without exception. I saw the lack of budget and dedicated personnel not as a structural flaw, but as a test of my ingenuity. I worked 7-day weeks, poured my personal time into it, believing that overcoming these limitations was part of my growth. The project eventually faltered, not for lack of effort, but for lack of foundational support that I, in my naive ’empowerment,’ never demanded. I blamed myself for weeks, for not being ‘resourceful enough,’ for not ‘finding a way.’ It took me a long, hard look in the mirror to realize I hadn’t failed; I had been meticulously set up to fail, under the guise of being ‘trusted.’ That’s the insidiousness of it: it turns good intentions and diligence into instruments of self-destruction.

Tangible Empowerment, Real Control

True empowerment isn’t a nebulous concept; it’s tangible. It’s the budget line that reflects the project’s actual needs. It’s the clear decision-making authority that bypasses 7 unnecessary approval layers. It’s the dedicated time and resources, not just the expectation of results. When you’re truly empowered, you’re not just given a task; you’re given the keys to the kingdom, or at least, the specific tools to build that kingdom.

It’s why the idea of real control resonates so strongly with me. Beyond the illusion of corporate ‘ownership,’ there’s a primal satisfaction in truly shaping something, in having the final say over the details that matter to you. Whether it’s designing your own space, choosing your artistic path, or even just picking the right accent for your personal items, that feeling of genuine, unadulterated command over your choices is invaluable. It’s what makes things feel personal, truly yours, not just a burden assigned under the guise of a gift. It’s where the creative spirit finds its genuine footing, much like how Spinningstickers offers a canvas for personal expression, giving you the power to define your aesthetic, your way.

Clarifying the Terms of Engagement

We need to shift our language and, more importantly, our practices. When a manager says, ‘Own this,’ our immediate response shouldn’t be a reflexive nod. It should be a pause, a moment for clarity: ‘What specific resources, budget, and decision-making authority come with that ownership? Who else needs to be on board, and what’s their commitment? What does success look like, and what roadblocks do you foresee that I need help clearing?’ This isn’t being difficult; it’s clarifying the terms of engagement. It’s defining true ownership rather than accepting an empty promise.

We must realize that the ‘Yes, and…’ culture of corporate limitations is often less about fostering agility and more about offloading risk without relinquishing control. When a limitation is imposed (‘Yes, you can lead this, and… there’s no budget’), the ‘and’ needs to be translated into a quantifiable cost or resource that someone, somewhere, is obligated to provide, or the project’s scope must be adjusted accordingly. Without this, the ‘ownership’ becomes a carefully disguised grenade, tossed into the lap of the unsuspecting, waiting to explode into burnout and frustration.

A Metaphor for Control

So, the next time the word ’empowerment’ drifts across the meeting room table, or the directive to ‘own it’ lands squarely on your plate, pause. Feel that slight chill in the air, that tiny knot of recognition. Ask the questions that define the terms of this so-called gift. Because what if ownership isn’t a gift at all, but a meticulously wrapped burden, designed to make you feel responsible for a failure that was never truly yours?